Twins 102

Believe it or not I've been able to get some reading in on twins through books, online forums, websites, etc. I keep learning new interesting things!

Here are the most popular twin questions that I've heard so far...

Q: Are they twins?
A: Yes.

Q: Are they girls?
A: No. (They are wearing clothing in red, blue, dinosaurs, lions, footballs)

Q: Are they identical?
A: Yes!

Q: How do you do it?!?!
A: Militant scheduling directed by me, despite the fact that my husband was actually in the military. Everything is planned. At 9 am I feed the boys, pump, wash bottles, make all the bottles to last until 9 am the next morning. They eat every 4 hours. They get baths Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I start a load of laundry every day after my shower. I think I've become a lot more efficient and notice that I rarely do one thing at a time anymore. I feed them both at the same time with bottles until Jim comes home and we each get a baby.

Q: Are they fraternal or maternal?
A: There is no such thing as a maternal twin. Online twin mothers around the world make fun of you for asking. Twins are either fraternal or identical.

Q: Who's side of the family do twins run in?
A: Identical twins are not hereditary- doctors don't know why they happen or who they happen to! I like this quote, "To be in the twins club God has to choose you." Fraternal twins can be hereditary on the mothers side because the gene that causes a woman to ovulate 2 eggs instead of 1 can be passed down.

Q: Do twins always skip a generation?
A: No.

Q: Who is the bad one?
A: A lot of moms get annoyed by this question but it doesn't bother me. The answer is Nathan. 9 times of of 10 if there is a screaming, fussy, gassy, throwing up baby it's Nathan. I love my little difficult man, he reminds me of someone. Me.

Q: Which one is your favorite?
A: Ummmmm I don't think you're supposed to have a favorite. One of the books I read said that you will have one baby that's personality suits you better. I think that makes sense for anyone with more than one child. Just for fun I'm going to start asking this to parents with 2 kids.

Q: Can I hold one?
A: (You are a stranger) No. And you just reminded me to buy some mace.
A: (I know you) As long as you are healthy, not a child and don't smoke you can stay all day.

Q: When one twin cries does it wake the other?

A: Surprisingly, no. One will be screaming 2 inches from the others face and it will not wake the other. Thank God for small favors.

Q: Which one is older?

A: Alex- by 2 minutes. This is another hot topic for some reason with twins. I read all the time that mothers don't even want to tell their twins which one was born first. I don't get this. I was pretty aware that I was born 4 years before my sister and I don't really think it damaged anyone...

Q: Can you always tell them apart?

A: Yes! I was so worried that we wouldn't be able to. I read about mothers who said they 'just knew' and 'they felt different' and it's totally true. Each baby has their own personality for sure. That being said, Jim and I have each been fooled and mixed them up...they look a lot alike!

Q: What kind of stroller is that?

A: Peg Perego Duette. Worth every penny.

And the million dollar question...

Did you do IVF/fertility drugs?? or even phrased "are they real twins or IVF?"

So, I've had a few people ask me this to my face and a few that ask my friends. This question always comes up with mothers of multiples. I'm a little fascinated by the world of fertility treatments. It's pretty amazing that now in 2010 you can have a baby- it might not be the way you originally wanted- but you can through IVF, adoption, surrogacy, etc. Parents that did go through fertility treatments get really upset that this very personal and difficult question is always brought up, not just when their children are babies either. But, as a mother of twins, I'm guilty of assuming that twins I hear about were a result of fertility treatments. Just better not to ask. And you should never reference Octomom to a mother of multiples- we really don't want her to be our poster child. We were blessed not to have to use any fertility treatments, they are 'real twins.' Also, IVF/fertility treatment babies are almost always fraternal twins.